2008-10-30
On October 28th, I worked very hard to make a Halloween Costume that would win the $50 prize at the 3rd Annual Daniel Street costume contest. I have never tried to win this contest before, and I am a highly competitive lady, so to say that I worked hard on my costume would be true. Yes, I began working on it a mere two hours before the show began. But I turned a cardboard box into a fairly good rendering of the venue in which the costume contest was being held. I became Daniel Street, and I wore a skirt with boats and a harbor on it to depict our harbor environs. I did not hike up the skirt, nor did I wear high heels, though I confess I thought about doing it, for a moment.
There were a lot of ladies dressed as some variation on the slut theme. Witness: slutty Native American, Slutty Britney Spears, Slutty Playboy Bunny, Slutty Dead Nurse. To say that my costume was the finest, most creative rendering of the ladies' portion of the evening would, in my humble opinion, be completely correct.
To say that it was also the most chaste would probably also be true. Let this be a lesson to you ladies: chastity does not win costume contests ruled by popular vote.
When the top 4 winners were called to the stage, it was a gorilla man, robot man (my brother Jacob) in the men's section, and Daniel Street (me) and the slutty nurse. I truly think it was a tie, and that the audience noise level was pretty freaking solid on both sides for the dead nurse and I.
Despite the fact that the judge had to elicit audience response three times to make a final judgement (because it was such a close tie), the dead nurse triumphed and won the $50. She needs the money more than me, and I will confess that she looked pretty dead, but still. Perhaps if I had worn hot pants instead of a longer skirt, I would have had a winning chance.
My anger and irritation at the outcome stems from the following facts:
1. I spent way more time on my costume, and it was by far the most creative ladies' costume.
2. It seemed to me that the audience response was fairly evenly matched, and you could have called it a tie.
3. Daniel Street in Daniel Street! Mini posters! Accurate renderings of the front of the building! How can you beat it? Apparently by wearing a short skirt and being dead.
I did help the judge, earlier that day, edit a paper of his for school and at that point I did ask for "extra credit" in the competition. Did I honestly think he should give it to me? No. But his awarding of the prize to the dead nurse, in some weird way, seemed like a reaction against knowing that I helped him on the paper. This sounds complicated. But there was beer involved, and noise and drunk dudes, so intellect does not win in situations of this variety.
All of this said, I can see why I lost the contest for the following reasons:
1. It would have looked like a fix if the judge gave two Royers the award.
2. It would have looked like a fix if judge gave Daniel Street the award in Daniel Street.
So I can see why the dead nurse won.
I am still nursing my ego wounds, and perhaps I need a dead nurse to console me or fix these bruises. I just sort of wish he'd called it a tie, because I think that would have been more fair.
I have confessed all of this to the un-just judge, and will be the first to admit that I am the world's most well-honed sore loser.
A sore loser who had the best costume, in the ladies division. Maybe if I had installed some working lights on the front, it would have clinched the contest. I don't know. Probably some lights and no pants would have been better. And then to have Jacob win despite the fact that he wasn't even in the room made me even more irritated!!! His costume was also awesome! But the judge made a huge exception to the rules by waiting for him, and then calling the contest in his favor after waiting.
I spent 2 fucking hours on that thing, and now Lola is going to use it for a dog house, which should be awesome, so that is the one bright spot in this whole debacle.