2007-02-28
Well I truly don't know. The amount of work before me stands like a beastie in my windowless office. My dog will not stop peeing for Jon's brother, and I am certain that I am uncertain about the future. Is it lame that changing jobs has already bummed me out/made me uncertain about the world I live in? I am so tired it is a wonder I can do anything but watch curb your enthusiasm and sleep. And despite her bad habits, I love my little pee machine dog. So she is a blessing, if nothing else. I have to keep reminding myself that this work is character building, and that working for the man is not disheartening, it might be good for me. But I just don't know. What I mean is, I am not so happy but it has just begun, and I need to earn new skills, and most of all I believe that I have to keep reminding myself of some basic things 1. it is not as hard as, for example, particle physics or medical school 2. I am healthy and living in a first-world nation 3. I have a sweet dog/apartment/life for the most part 4. I love my family 5. despite the fact that my partner in crime is in korea, life is still okay 6. I can do it (I feel like such a dork giving myself constant pep-talks, but I have to) 7. I killed the link to my spam-filled "notes" page, so that is a step in the right direction 8.there is a world outside and if this big job becomes intolerable, it is not as though I have not dissapointed others before by changing directions/careers/states/colleges...though in my old age it is getting a wee bit tiresome. I do think I may take the train to work in the morning, and this, I hope, will make me incrementally happier. P.s. my apologies for being such a dorky self-centered fool.
B