2006-04-10
While I am not paying attention things are happening everywhere. Questions about the behavior of men (in general)on Friday night lead to strange revelations Saturday morning that alter my vision of who I am in love with. I miss the soil conditioning workshop at the library as a result. I go to too many establishments: goodwill, xmas tree shops, ac moore, julia's bakery, then to new haven where: koffee?, thai taste & atticus are also visited. Chaos re: wedding drama exploded and is avoided because I turn off my phone to hang out with A. She & I wander around New Haven on a rainy Saturday and discuss all sorts of things over tea. Bad sculpture by former classmates, running into T.W., morning things and afternoon things, and the perils of being a smart lady. Then I screen shirts with SLS and friend of hers, do her taxes, return home. Sunday I'm still struggling with this new person who is the same person. We go to Mohegan Sun and after bowling I leave to walk around the big reservoir there. Casinos are too strange for me. I go home and walk around Milford, after a brief cry for my incrementally broken heart. This is stupid because I voiced permission for the intrigue that led to this small pain in my lovemuscle. I am a jerk. On the walk there were dogs and people making out in the bird sanctuary (what a lovely phrase), pigeons on the beach being dull, sound water, woodpeckers, clean air, swans diving for dinner, their necks green from river bottom slime, and sunshine. I stand in awe of the wiles of the universe. I regret using that word, as it is so big and uselessly undecided. Like me.